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Age: 15
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Grade: 2
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31 posts
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SHSL Courtroom Stenographer
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Student
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Post by Yvette Francesca Dupont on Dec 27, 2015 16:46:11 GMT
As promised, Yvette would deal with Sleepy. Or maybe Dopey.... She really couldn't tell her dwarves apart. Was she a racist? Nah! If she was a racist, she would be wearing funny ghost costumes. Or was it werewolf costumes? She really couldn't tell her monsters apart...
Now, let's get out our handy dandy check-listTM to see how to wake up Senior Monsieur while Yvette randomly changes her post into the first-person.
1) Kick him. Doesn't work. Perhaps I should kick the guy that is asleep. Psshh... That would never work..... 2) Cough up a hairball. He isn't throwing up or even show some green color to his skin, so this is a no-go. 3) Defend Donald Trump. He isn't getting angry or showing vast support for this man. He is not even showing confusion over who this Trump guy is! Dammit. What a waste of a flow chart and a power point presentation. D) Sing Single Ladies. I don't know the words....... CURSE YOU BEYONCE!!! WHY DID YOU ABANDON YOUR CHILD AND LEAVE YOUR WIFE, DESTINY!!! March) File Chapter 11 bankruptcy. I can't file Chapter 11 if I haven't started chapters 1-10 yet! Dammit books. You force me to read you once again. Six) Eat a bagel. Delicious. But he's still asleep. VII) Eat another bagel. Getting full on bagels. Still asleep. Maids are milking) Summon Lucifer and sell her sole to her in exchange for sleepyhead's awakening. She says that she doesn't take shoes, but human souls. I said that she has to buy a girl a drink first. NIEN) Teach an entire lesson on Adolf Hitler. Still asleep. I thought it was enlightening. Guess this guy doesn't care for history. 101) Ask Monokuma to do it. Says that I didn't sign up for an FTE with him so I can't. Pitty. I'll remember that for next time. Matt Smith) Splash fountain water on his face. Wait, that's his other character on monoworld.freeforums.net. Be original Yvette. I know you can do it. Midnight) Serve him some eggnog and force feed him down the drink.
As he's starts choking on the eggnog, I realized a valuable lesson. Steel beams can't melt jet fuel. It brings peace of mind to me to learn that conspiracies do not make life incredibly boring.
And with that, the dude with a drowning disorder woke up.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2015 21:36:01 GMT
The moment the drink invaded his senses, Elijah violently stirred from unconsciousness. The young man sputtered away the sweet concoction, drenched with the stuff as his hoodie and sleeveless denim jacket clung to his chest. He tried his very best to cough up the taste, slightly nauseated from the smell.
"Wha-" The kid immediately hacked again, sniffling after his coughing fit, "What the hell?"
Elijah looked up to person responsible, only to meet the eyes of some chick in an unusual attire. He glared at the young woman, wiping what tasted like eggnog away from his nose.
"Who the hell are you?"
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Age: 15
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Grade: 2
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31 posts
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SHSL Courtroom Stenographer
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Student
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Post by Yvette Francesca Dupont on Dec 28, 2015 23:53:41 GMT
"My name is Yvette Francesca Dupont. I work as a Courtroom Stenographer, like long walks on the beach and am looking for someone to share my love of parodying game shows. I am not, however, hell. Hell is something else entirely. I think it's a fast food chain that sell McWhoppers Jr. Then again, I could be right..."
Yvette laid lied layed Layes put her back onto the floor right next to the guy who seems to hate sleeves.
"I agree with your hatred of sleeves. You see, sleeves killed by former roommate's cousin's friend's acquaintance's ex-girlfriend's psychologist's daughter-in-law's fifth favorite barber in all of Rhode Island. Of course, he couldn't find any rope to hang himself with, but that's besides the point."
She grabbed his head and pulled his head in such a way that her eye and his ear were less that an inch away.
"Now, who are you? Gandalf the Grey? Gandalf the White? Monty Python's Holy Grail's Black Knight? Benito Mussolini? Blue Meanie? Cowboy Curtis? Jambi the Genie? Robocop? The terminator? Captain Kurk? Darth Vader? Lo Pan? Superman? Every single Power ranger? Bill S. Preston? Theodore Logan? Spok? The Rock? Doc Oct? Hulk Holgan?"
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 2:01:03 GMT
The kid with the red beanie jerked his head away from the odd woman's grasp, unable to find the words to describe how strange this person was. He hoped someone pulled a joke on him by hiring the girl named Yvette to break his personal boundary five times over.
"No, I'm Santa Claus and I fell into some hard times." he sarcastically replied. Once Elijah put some distance between himself and Yvette, he stood up to straighten the crinkles upon his clothes. "So, Yvette, Courtroom Stenographer. Where am I?" The young man took a moment to see to his surroundings, greatly unfamiliar with the current setting he was in. It was lavish restaurant, completed with furniture one would expect to find: long dining tables, short dinner tables, ornate seats and so on and so forth. His expression turned a bit sour, grimacing at the the sight.
"I'm guessing this isn't Hope's Peak Academy" Elijah glanced to Yvette with confusion, "you're not some crazy chick who forced me on a date or something, right?"
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Age: 15
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Grade: 2
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31 posts
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SHSL Courtroom Stenographer
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Student
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Post by Yvette Francesca Dupont on Dec 30, 2015 7:27:11 GMT
Yvette stared at him for a few minutes. Perfectly still. Then she kicked him in the testicles.
"Fuck you Santa!!! I was a good girl in 2010!! I don't deserve fucking coal!!! It's not my fault I kicked that guy in the testicles! He told me he was the Easter Bunny and I never got any good eggs! How was I supposed to know he was being sarcastic!!"
She grabbed a nearby spoon ready to scoop out his eyeballs when she stopped for a minute.
"Oh!!!! It's like that Easter Bunny! You were being sarcastic! I get it now! Hip-hip HORRAY!"
She ran into the kitchen and came back with a big jar of cashews. "Here are some nuts to replace the ones I popped. I hope there the right kind."
She proceeded to poor them down his pants.
"Anyways, we are here in some building for some reason to commit murder because of a murderous teddy bear. See? I even got a selfie."
Yvette promptly showed her pictures of her and the teddy bear that she got from Sacagawea. Or was it? She has a hard time telling Sacagawea apart from film directors. Lack of explosions in the room eliminates Michael Bay. Nothing is symmetrical so we can eliminate Wes Anderson. It must have been Ron Jeremy. He does what many actors do and try to shoot a scene. What kinds of movies? By the looks of boys desperately trying to cover their laptop screens, it was probably some cheesy chick flick. Like Pretty in Pink, Breakfast at Tiffany's, How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days and Schindler's List.
"If you want, we can take some more selfies later! Maybe one with you and the bear, then you and me, the one with just your beanie, then one with a bathtub full of The Brady Bunch's hair products. They don't use much, so that might be a problem."
She got up off the ground and faced a painting on the wall that was a life-like door. The painting even had an actual 3-D doorknob on it. Such Beauty!
"Also, as far as dates go, I believe it is SaturTuesday, Decemburary the Oneteenth. And I'm not crazy. If I was crazy, I would accuse you of being Santa Claus's half-brother, not the actual Saint Nick. Everybody knows that Santa's half-brother is a huge agoraphoic after Oppenheimer and Ringo Starr gave him a purple nurple. Even famed dream analyzer Sir Patrick Henry couldn't deduce this. Wait!"
She looked to her left to look at the boy.
"There's no boy here."
Your OTHER left Yvette, you stupid bitch!
"Oh, there you are. Anyways, are you the Ultimate Dream Analyzer? Because I have this weird dream where I am staring at this grape and that's it."
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 9:31:31 GMT
If things didn't make sense before, it clearly did not now. Elijah did not expect to receive a swift kick to the 'nads or bombarded with a hail of spiteful words in reply to his sarcasm. In fact, this girl, Yvette, was completely wild and unpredictable just from a time already spent trying to get some answers from her. He collapsed unto his knees, cupping his hands to the influx of immense pain to keep them from being struck while he was down again. He should have said something or atleast shouted in pain from such a cheap shot, but unfortunately he bit back the words from being formed. Anything said in some negative way could trigger another beating or far worse.
"Here are some nuts to replace the ones I popped. I hope there the right kind."
He could only glance up to Yvette, uncertain if he should thank her or tell her to leave him alone to wallow in his incapacitated state. However, the nutcase continued to break his personal bubble by unleashing a bag of cashews down his pants. The kid could only emit a lowly groan, forcing himself to stand.
"Anyways, we are here in some building for some reason to commit murder because of a murderous teddy bear. See? I even got a selfie."
"What" Elijah managed to groan, finding Yvette's words harder to understand before seeing the photographs, "This is some twisted joke."
He lurched away from his present company, trying his damn hardest from taking several steps away before the pain shot through him.
"Oh, there you are. Anyways, are you the Ultimate Dream Analyzer? Because I have this weird dream where I am staring at this grape and that's it."
"Ultimate what?" the rebel exhaled with exasperation as he looked back to Yvette with concern, "No. I'm the Rebel. Uh, Super High School Level Rebel or whatever. Is it just you here in this place? Where is this murderous teddy bear?"
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Age: 15
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Grade: 2
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31 posts
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SHSL Courtroom Stenographer
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Student
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Post by Yvette Francesca Dupont on Dec 30, 2015 9:50:17 GMT
"Rebel, eh?"
Yvette immediately forgot about what his talent was and just assumed he was the Ultimate TSA, as he is really checking out his package..
"Anyways, Build-a-bear is currently somewhere in this hotel. If I had to guess, I would assume he would be within the general vicinity of this hotel. Then again, I could be completely wrong and he could be inside this very hotel."
Yvette pondered her options while remembering the submarine episode on Lost. She still never got over the death of Spock. While she was internally saddened, without externally showing it because that requires a passport, she misread the TSA's question on the forums. While he meant the entire Hotel, she thought he meant the restaurant.
"As for the total number of people here, I say it's around 2. I never have the patience to count that high. Course, when Monokuma gets in here, it'll be 3. Unless your a hardcore racist. Then it's 2 and 3/5ths. But I digress. So, I wonder what game we are going to play after the one Monokuma is currently making us play? Parcheesi? Monopoly? Scrabble? Hungry Hungry Hippos? Saw? I hope it's not Saw. I mean, two murder games in a row is gonna get stale. Like uncooked toast."
She sat down next to the Accordion.
"So, I still don't have your name, so I'm going to name you Not-Yvette. That way I don't confuse you for me! So Not-Yvette, it's good to have some quality time before the bear shows up. It's a good thing that were in here and the bear is frozen out there and he's the sheriff and we're frozen in here and we're out there and, wait, I remembered! We're in here. But what I want to know is, where is the bear?"
She looks through Not-Yvette's pockets and found lint. LINT! Yvette will need to stage an intervention for Not-Yvette. Snorting Lint is not okay.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2015 1:25:51 GMT
Elijah scratched at his head. If he heard Yvette correctly, there was only the three of them with the other somewhere in this building. But, this wasn't some ordinary establishment - it was a posh hotel of sorts. That was much the kid could deduce from this strange meeting. Also, the mysterious bear was nowhere to be seen within the restaurant, despite his incredulous thoughts on the unseen terror.
"So, I still don't have your name, so I'm going to name you Not-Yvette. That way I don't confuse you for me! So Not-Yvette, it's good to have some quality time before the bear shows up. It's a good thing that were in here and the bear is frozen out there and he's the sheriff and we're frozen in here and we're out there and, wait, I remembered! We're in here. But what I want to know is, where is the bear?"
With a frown, the Rebel offered a shrug. There was no way to tell if Yvette was capable of telling the truth. Everything she had said and done was, to simply put, borderline insanity. Even if he managed to stop her from rummaging through his pockets, that wouldn't stop from what's to come next.
"Uhmm.. Thanks for waking me up, I guess," he muttered as he removed both his hoodie and denim jacket, "I think I'm going to look around for a bit... don't want to.. uh, bother you during your quality time."
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Age: 15
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Grade: 2
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31 posts
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SHSL Courtroom Stenographer
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Student
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Post by Yvette Francesca Dupont on Dec 31, 2015 1:53:33 GMT
"JJJJJJJJJOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNN CCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Yvette promptly suplexed Not-Yvette onto the floor. It was awesome. And real. Who every said wrestling was fake is going to probably get typhoid fever and die painfully. That's what all liars get. She then rolled ontop of his so that her nose was touching his nose.
"No! Stay! If we have to murder eachother, we might as well learn something about eachother! So what's this about you being a rebel? How does that go for you? Do you like fight on an icy planet and then find out your mortal enemy is Darth Vader? Is your life really like Sixteen Candels? Did I misspell candels? Ah, who cares. I'm being a rebel and misspell the words. Ahll dah werds!"
At this point in time, after all that time conversing, Yvette remembers that she has to blink. So she did. And it was decent. 2 and a half stars. She might come back to it again later.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 8, 2016 20:33:31 GMT
The teenage rebel figured the worst could only come from Yvette. She was abusive and completely insane at this point. Elijah didn't need a licensed psychologist to explain what his eyes beheld - one crazy, stupid girl. He gritted his teeth, fed up with this bitch's antics as she handled him roughly like some slab of meat. Of course, he must admit how impressive her strength was, but this was hardly the time. She broke the boundary between them and proceeded to touch his nose with her own.
"What the fu- Get off!" The rebel shoved Yvette off him, uncertain of his own strength, "Do I look like the kind of person who give a shit about a title?! I don't! I don't care about how many words you misspelled or how much of a rebel you think you may be!"
He sat up, feeling the strain upon his body. However, his eyes were fixated solely upon Yvette with a glare. "Why don't you go find that fuckin' dumb bear of yours and wrestle with it instead!" Elijah snarled as he stumbled unto his feet to dust himself. "I'm done talking with you."
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Age: 15
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Grade: 2
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31 posts
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SHSL Courtroom Stenographer
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Student
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Post by Yvette Francesca Dupont on Jan 9, 2016 6:06:44 GMT
"Hitting a woman? I guess you really are a rebel!"
Yvette brushed herself off and stood up. Non-Yvette decided that she still wanted to know more about him. His life. Whether he had his social security number stolen by a drug dealing sociopath. Maybe he was the drug dealing sociopath? She'll have to find out. She'll find out the only way how. By using her skills as a Courtroom Stenographer. With her skills as a Courtroom Stenographer, she put a knife to his throat. TSAs are known to be hatred of even the word bomb, so that must mean they are in love with knives. Obviously! Who wouldn't like knives. The Who wouldn't like knives. Yvette learnt that the hard way. She won't get fooled again.
"Mit keresek, én itt? Azt mondják, hogy a híres lakem lefogta a férjemet én meg lecsaptam a fejét. De nem igaz, én ártatlan vagyok. Nem tudom miért mondja Uncle Sam, hogy én tettem. Probáltam a rendőrségen megmagyarázni de nem értették meg... "
She then realized the rebel was probably a rebel in his Pig Latin class and has no idea what she just said. Good thing too. She didn't know what she just said either.
"Sorry sweetie. This is knife. Knife, Non-Yvette. Non-Yvette, Knife. Now that my knife is currently giving you a hickey so hard that little splotches of mustard starts running down it's blade. Weird, I thought mustard was yellow, not Pepto-Bismal color. Weird.... Anyways I want to know more about your life and if you have any cocaine on your persons. That way, I can trade it for some fro-yo from Monokuma! I hope it's vanilla flavor. Maybe that requires crystal meth or mary-jay? I don't even know if he has a nose to properly snort it. Or a straw to use. There should be some straws in the kitchen, but I haven't checked it yet. Which reminds me."
Yvette opened up her student ID to read the school rules. She couldn't find them. All she found was wires and memory chips. She'll have to remind him about the rules through memory.
"If you are going to be a rebel, you are going to have to break all the rules. All of them. And I'll help."
She cleared her throat still holding the knife to his throat. I mean, what the living fuck Yvette! You're holding Elijah hostage here with a knife. I mean, aren't you going too far?
"Shut up Narrator."
Okay. Fine. Get yourself killed. See if I care.
"Anyways, the rules:
Rule 1: If you want to leave the hotel and completely prove the Eagles wrong, then all you have to do is commit the worst crime! Not loitering, but MURDER! Once you do the deed, we shall play Judge Judy. I'll be the Courtroom Stenographer. You'll be the Baliff. Monokuma will be the no-nonsense cop that plays by the rules. Together, we fight crime. If you have you're daughter's recital, forget it. You must attend. Which, being the rebel you are, means that is an easy one to rebel against.
Rule 2: If a black guy whips out his dick during the case, they shall be submitted to BDSM. If he keeps his thing in his pants, we get the whip. He is also welcome to leave the hotel to pick up some Starbucks.
Rule 3: A person is not legally dead unless three people see that he is dead. If you are confused as what counts as a person, an announcement shall play once we got three of them. Then we can investigate the philosophy of death.
Rule 4: Wanna live like a rockstar? Feeling paranoid about the cameras? Tough shit. You ain't breaking nothing. Durable as fuck. I have no idea what Monokuma did to them, but they are unbreakable. Which sucks. I don't think you're able to break this rule.
Rule 5; Go wherever you want. Monokuma don't care. If you want to break this rule, you'll have to stay here with me for-ev-ah.
Rule 6: Night happens at night. If you want to go beddy-bye, you'll have to do so in your own personal room. If you are feeling a little homesick, I can rub your tummy gently while reading One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish.
Rule 7: Violins against Manger Monokuma is forgiven. Guess he loves his classical music. I'm more of a Zom-Rom-Com myself."
Yvette felt proud; she was able to help out this poor man that was squirting mustard out of his neck. Couldn't be from the knife. Knifes don't cut people. People kill people.
"Anyways, tell me about your family. What's your sister like? Do you even have one? TELLMETELLMETELLMETELLMETELLMETELLMETELLMETELLMETELLME........"
She's gonna keep doing this until you reply Elijah.
For god's sake Elijah, she's forcing me to narrate her insanity. HELP ME ELIJAH! REPLY!!! PLEASE. You might be the only one who gets me out of here! - The Narrator.
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